Almost every couple says some version of the same thing to me before their wedding:
“We’re really awkward in front of the camera.”
Sometimes they whisper it apologetically during a consultation call. Sometimes they say it in the first email. Sometimes it comes from the groom about 30 seconds after I arrive on the wedding morning. And nearly every single time, by the end of the wedding day, one of them says:
“You made that so much easier than we thought it would be.”
One bride messaged me after her wedding to say:
“Even Enda was saying this week how easy it was to have photos taken by you.”
Honestly, that means more to me than almost anything else people could say.
Because I get it.
I genuinely hate having my own photo taken.
Most People Think They’re Awkward in Photos
The truth is: most people are not naturally comfortable being photographed.
Couples assume everyone else somehow knows:
* how to stand
* what to do with their hands
* how to look relaxed
* how to “act natural”
But almost nobody actually feels that way in real life.
The difference usually isn’t confidence.
It’s comfort.
And comfort comes from feeling safe rather than observed.
Documentary Wedding Photography Changes the Dynamic Completely
A lot of people think wedding photography means:
* posing constantly
* being watched all day
* smiling on command
* endless directions
But documentary wedding photography is much quieter than that.
Most of the day, I’m watching rather than interrupting.
I’m paying attention to:
* your mum fixing your sleeve without thinking
* your partner taking a deep breath before the ceremony
* your child falling asleep on someone’s shoulder
* your friends crying while pretending they’re not
Those are the moments people actually care about years later.
Not whether everything looked perfectly polished.
You Don’t Need to “Perform” Your Wedding Day
This is probably the biggest thing couples relax into.
You do not need to spend your wedding day acting like people in wedding photos online.
You don’t need to:
* laugh on cue
* stare intensely into each other’s eyes
* run through fields
* pretend to be extroverted
* perform happiness for a camera
You just need to be there.
That’s enough.
The best photographs nearly always happen in the gaps between things — when people stop trying.
Most couples stop thinking about the camera entirely within a few minutes.
We walk. We talk. I give gentle direction where needed. And then people settle into themselves.
That’s when the photographs start feeling real. You can see this naturally in intimate weddings like this Dublin City wedding at Woollen Mills, where the day unfolded quietly and without pressure from start to finish.
Introverts Often Make the Most Emotionally Present Couples
I’ve thought about this a lot over the years.
I’m an introvert by nature, but completely people-obsessed when it comes to the way couples and families connect.
I notice things other people miss. That’s not something I learned — it’s just how I’m wired.
And I think couples who are quieter, more observant, or less comfortable performing often bring something really genuine to their wedding day. They tend to focus less on appearances and more on what the day actually feels like while it’s happening.
That translates beautifully in photographs.
A lot of the couples I photograph are not people who naturally love attention. They don’t want their wedding day to feel like a photoshoot. They want to spend time with the people they love, stay present, and come away with photographs that feel honest afterwards.
That’s exactly the kind of wedding I love documenting.
Frequently Asked Questions About Feeling Relaxed in Wedding Photos
What if we feel awkward in front of the camera?
Most couples do.
Honestly, I would be more surprised if somebody told me they loved being photographed than if they admitted they felt awkward about it.
Feeling relaxed in wedding photos usually has very little to do with confidence and far more to do with comfort. Most people settle once they realise they’re not being constantly watched or directed. The atmosphere matters more than posing ever will.
How do we look natural in wedding photos?
By focusing on each other rather than the camera.
The couples who look most relaxed in photographs are usually the ones who stay connected to each other throughout the day — talking, holding hands, laughing, checking in with each other, existing inside the day rather than performing it for photographs.
Natural photographs tend to happen when people stop thinking about how they look.
What if my partner hates having photos taken?
This is incredibly common — particularly with grooms.
One bride messaged me after her wedding to say:
“Even Enda was saying this week how easy it was to have photos taken by you.”
That probably sums up my approach better than I could myself.
Most people don’t actually hate photographs. They hate feeling uncomfortable, over-directed, or observed for long periods of time. Once that pressure disappears, the experience usually changes completely.
Do you give direction during portraits?
Yes — but gently.
Most couples don’t want to be abandoned completely, but they also don’t want to spend an hour being posed into positions that don’t feel natural to them.
I’ll guide people when needed, but the aim is always to keep movement, conversation, and connection at the centre of things rather than rigid posing.
How many posed wedding photos do we really need?
Usually far fewer than couples think.
A small amount of time set aside for portraits is enough for most people. The rest of the day is often where the photographs people treasure most actually happen anyway — during conversations, hugs, speeches, laughter, children interrupting things, or the quieter moments in between.
Your wedding day should still feel like your wedding day while it’s being photographed.
What’s the best way to relax during wedding photos?
Slow down slightly.
Stay close to each other. Hold hands. Talk normally. Breathe. Walk rather than standing stiffly in one place wondering what you should be doing.
And trust that you do not need to “perform” happiness for a camera for photographs to feel meaningful later.
Planning Your Own Wedding?
If you’re looking for documentary wedding photography that focuses on real moments rather than endless posing — and you’re worried about feeling awkward in front of the camera — you are very much not alone.
Most of the couples I photograph start by telling me exactly that.
And I’d love to hear from you.
You can see more of my work, wedding information, and pricing here.
About Pamela Brady
Pamela Brady is an award-winning documentary wedding photographer based in Cavan, Ireland, photographing relaxed weddings across Dublin and throughout Ireland. Recognised by This Is Reportage as a Top 10 Wedding Photographer in Ireland and Top 100 Worldwide, her work focuses on real moments, emotional connection, and weddings that prioritise presence over performance.
Pamela is also a member of Fearless Photographers and the Wedding Photojournalist Association (WPJA).
